Saturday, February 6, 2010

Love Languages

A number of years ago Tammy and I read a book called "Love Languages". In it the author theorized that different people tend to communicate love and feel loved in different ways. They went on to describe a number of "love languages", of which each of us presumably has a primary one. They included gift-giving, physical touch, quality time, acts of service, words of affirmation. It made a lot of sense, and explained things like why my Tammy and I may not always be on the same wave-length when it comes to giving and receiving love. I think Tammy's language is "acts of service" and "gifts", probably the two I tend to be the weakest in. So, I have to learn to "dwell with her according to knowledge", as the Bible says, and purpose to exercise these more consistently. In so doing, I will, in the illustration from the book, keep her "love tank" more full. My languages are more along the lines of quality time and words of affirmation ... you guessed it, the two Tammy does not necessarily have a tendency towards! To her, talk is cheap, so SHOW me through ACTIONS ... to me, actions are good, and gifts are OK, but I would prefer to see that she DESIRES to spend dedicated time with me, and HEAR her express that she values me. So, it is interesting how God made us unique in our personalities, and how He can teach us to love another in a selfless manner as we learn what the other enjoys and values even if it does not always coincide with our ways. This past couple of days I had the opportunity to "fill my tank" as I felt like my wife desired to get away with me and spend some time with just me. During our get-away to Niagra Falls, we talked and we laughed, and we walked hand in hand, and I sensed that my wife valued me as she was willing to take time away from her many "activities" and give me "quality time". Now, I need to continue to intentionally find ways to communicate to here that I care in a "language" that speaks uniquely to her heart.

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